Nobody saw it coming, which, sources agree, is exactly how he likes it. One moment the internet was scrolling past yet another clip. The next, the clip had a cape, a moustache and a top speed nobody has managed to measure.
"He went from viral to legendary in the time it takes to refresh," said one witness, still holding a phone that had failed to focus. Others describe a blue blur, a red flash and a faint smell of victory over the rooftops.
Experts confirm he is faster than trends and stronger than memes. Asked for comment, the moustache declined. Readers are advised to keep an eye on the sky and a closer eye on $SICKSHIT.
